Roblox is a sandbox creation tool that many players have adopted, turned into their own homes, and made some really wild creations and popular games for users to play. Companies have seen this as an area to expand into the metaverse and create digital versions of their stores, arcades, and whatever else they can pack into the experience. After tripping to Wal-Mart Land a few months ago and swearing I would never return to one of those corporate Roblox hellholes, I watched the trailer for the new Dave and Busters Roblox world. I swiftly realized I was going to have to go back.
So, I have returned to Roblox to look into the world of Dave and Busters, so you don’t have to.
Dave & Buster’s Roblox World is as Depressing as You Would Imagine
As I enter the famous arcade chain Dave and Busters, I am met with a large sign sprawled across the entrance. The chain’s signature slogan “Eat, Drink, Play, Watch.” I notice this hovering arcade stick following me around that says “Noob” for everyone to see. I am embarrassed by my gamer skills, so I need to be quick here before anyone recognizes me.
The sounds and chimes of a bustling arcade can be heard as soon as I enter through the doors; however, I only see one or two other people roaming around. Clearly, they are pumping the room full of noise, which is not a good sign.
I walk over to some of the arcade cabinets hoping to play a quick game, but I notice many are just for show. They don’t actually have any games built-in to interact with. Bummer.
I soon realize all of the actual games are on the edge of the Dave and Busters, with big signs that read “Gridiron Blitz” or “Full-Tilt.”
Gridiron Blitz has some horrifying-looking Football mannequins propped up outside of the zone. They are smiling, but I know deep down inside they feel nothing but pain and sorrow. I shed a single tear for them before moving on.
I queue up for the next round of games to see what Dave and Busters has to offer in Roblox, and let me tell you; it’s not great.
I am thrust into a zombie survival minigame much like your typical lightgun arcade shooters. My crosshair is on the screen, and I am shooting zombies in an office building. It’s straightforward and not the worst use of my time, but after a few minutes, I’m glad it’s over.
After zombie survival, the group chooses to play some race where we are all trapped inside giant plastic bubbles. This is by far the worst game I experienced at Dave and Busters, and I do not recommend playing it.
The final game I played in this corporate hellscape was “Full-Tilt.” It’s most akin to Wipeout or Fall Guys. Get through the obstacle course designed to kill you, and you will win.
What I did not foresee was getting knocked off the stage and being stuck in an infinite loop of drowning. For three solid minutes, I watched my Roblobx avatar die, and die, and die. Stuck in a never-ending loop of death. It was terrible and sickening, and I didn’t even get any tickets for it.
After working up an appetite, I headed to the food court. They must have some banging food to eat at this place. I pull up a Dave and Busters menu on another webpage to see how the food compares in the Metaverse.
While the food doesn’t quite compare, it was nice to see they had a burger capable of giving my little avatar a heart attack after three bites. I couldn’t find the Southern Cobb Salad or Voodoo Pasta, but I think those are the chicken wings above the burger in the image. It was unclear.
There were NPC waiters running around screaming, “I have your Nachos.” I did not see a single plate of nachos in the whole building, and no one had even ordered them. It’s okay, though, because I’m sure they aren’t being paid enough to begin with.
As I was getting ready to exit the establishment, I noticed one final area of Dave and Busters I had not been to yet. A large glass wall with a corporate boardroom. Now, these executives love a board room if you haven’t been to a Roblox corporate world yet. I imagine them designing this concept with the idea that they will all take meetings in Roblox. “It’ll be the future,” they say as they count their millions. It’s a gross room and one that should be closed up forever.
I hit up the prize counter to see if I could get anything out of this nightmare, and I didn’t have close to enough tickets to afford even the cheapest item. I walk away empty-handed, leaving the establishment feeling defeated, hungry, and scared. I never return.
Published: Feb 8, 2023 01:45 pm